Capture Your Grief 2012

I've kind of been busy lately and therefore it has kept me from here, I apologize for my absence.

On the 11th day we were suppose to share who has been of great support. I would have to say that my husband were the best support to each other. I really don't think that we would be where we are now without each other. We also had family and co-workers who of great help. I know that I said that my family wasn't while my sister was pregnant, but I think that they have grown to understand that all we need is their support. Especially since I talk to my mom and let her know what to say or do if she wants to be of any assistance to us. On the 15th of October of this year I was totally ecstatic to see all the support I was getting, especially from work.  It was such an uplifting feeling. :)

For the 12th we had to share scents that remind us of our baby. I couldn't really think of anything for this one. I think I would have been more effected by this one if I had been farther along, but I wasn't  I do remember that my husband could't go down the baby isle for a while cause of the pain it caused and even now since he works in a warehouse that distributes those kinds of products he get's kind of upset when he has to box them, but he is growing each day.

On the 13th it was all about signs. I chose hummingbird for our sign. I'm pretty sure we've had tons of signs like butterflies that flutter really close by or clouds that resemble things, but this one I thought would be the best. My husband and I like to take walks at a trail near our home and there seem to be a lot of hummingbirds there when we are there. While there we've had a couple flutter in front of us for a good amount of time.  They didn't want to move out of the way either, I was kind of afraid if I kept walking I'd get poked. :) Well now that I was thinking about it, I've had another possible sign on the same trail. Sometimes while on this trail we'd be coming back when it's dark. Well one night I looked up and there was a shooting star, but no ordinary star. This one went on for a good 30 to 60 seconds.

Day 14 was about what community have you taken part in with this. I wish there were more groups where I was at to do the things I do now where I live but that's now the case. The community that I've been mostly involved with is Carly Marie's Project Heal. I guess I could say I've also done things with the March Of Dimes. Also whenever I notice a new community online I like to jump on board to make new friends and such.



For day 15 it was the wave of light all across the world. My loving husband lit the candles for my because I was at work, but seeing all the candle being lit across the world was amazing and so beautiful! I did the three for my babies and I had the other ones for all the babies across the world! <3 I put a pink and blue candle in my ice cream so I felt like I was still taking part. :)

Day 16 was about releases of any sort. I think it would be could to release butterflies one day, but for now we've only done balloons. 

On the 17th it was all about what we did to celebrate their anniversary/birthday/due date. For Libby's birthday I wanted to make a cake, but like always time runs out and so we bought one. I made the topper though, which is "The Hungry Caterpillar". 

Finally today is a family portrait. Because there is only Carlos and I there really isn't too many family photos of that sort. So I made one up, which I think came out pretty good. 

Again thank you everyone for listening to me talk about this. <3

Capturing Your Grief 2012: Day 10

Today we share a symbol that reminds us of our children and our symbol is the butterfly. 



The butterfly has always been a huge symbol for our babies. What I found amazing is every time we seemed to have a loss, the cluster of butterflies fluttering together would change from 1, 2 to now three. I don't remember a time now when there isn't a butterfly far behind us. I'm really glad we live in Arizona, were butterflies get to stay around a little longer. It brings a great sort of comfort. ♥

Homemade Candy Corn

One of my all time favorite candies around this time has to be candy corn. That is why I was especially stoked when I found a recipe to do your own at http://mobile.seriouseats.com/recipes/2009/10/how-to-make-homemade-candy-corn-halloween-recipe.html . They are amazing and super fun to make!

You will need:

1 cup cup of sugar
2/3 cup of corn syrup
1/3 cup butter
2 1/4 cup confectionery sugar
1/3 cup powdered milk
1 tsp. Vanilla
Yellow and Red coloring

Start out by placing the confectionery sugar and powdered milk in small bowl and set aside.

Then, in a pot place sugar, syrup and butter on high. Bring to a boil and stir continuously. Now turn down to medium and let cook for 5 minutes. Still stirring occasionally.  Once thats done turn off and add vanilla. Remove from heat and add set aside mixture to sugar mixture. Let cook for 30 minutes or until cool enough to handle.

Split the dough into 3 parts. Add yellow and red coloring to one piece, and just yellow to another. The third will just stay the way it is. I placed mine in seran wrap while I was meshing the color into the dough.

Take the three pieces out and roll each one each individually. Now set them side by side and take a rolling pin, roll gently to mesh them together. Then take a knife and start cutting triangles. Tada! There you have it, yummy candy corn!

Tip: Keep them in the fridge if you want then to keep better shape. In Arizona it's always a challenge to keep my candy or chocolate creations in tact. :)

Capturing Your Grief 2012 : Day 8

Today I'm sharing pieces of jewelry that I have in memory of our children.
The copper shoe we got not too long after the first loss. I've worn it so much and its gone through the stress of new babies and pets that now it has been retired.
The bracelet with the angel on it and the word "Always in Your Heart" was a gift from my sister on my 26th birthday. It was such a heart felt gift and it was just great knowing that she understood how I felt.
The heart necklace my husband and I choose after the 2nd loss. There is not a day when I'm not wearing it. 

Capturing Your Grief 2012 : Day 7

What to say-
Ask me about them! 
Just knowing that you care enough to acknowledge them still is enough. :)

Capturing Your Grief: Day 6

For today we are supposed to post what not to say to someone who has suffered a loss. Here are just a few that were bothersome to me.

You'll still have your neice's to take care of!

True, but I'm not their mother and I don't get to make life changing decisions for them.  Nor do I get to experience the motherly bond that my sisters get to. I'm just the aunt who has no real purpose other then to spoil.

The right baby just hasn't found you yet!

One of our first nurse practitioners said this to me in the hopes that it would make me feel better. All it made me want to do was want to find another doctor. 

Carlos and you need to get over it and be happy for your sister!

Not even a couple weeks after our first loss my sister found out she was expecting.  She was afraid to tell us because of our loss and of how we would react. I sucked up my pride and congratulated her because I knew it was the right thing to do. Yet for some reason after that we kept getting told to suck up our feelings even more for her sake. I just didn't get it. I was happy, but I couldn't help but feel betrayed.

Haunted Mansion Stretch Photos

To continue on with my Haunted Mansion theme at my home I decided to make these easy and kid spook friendly stretch photos. All you need is three 4x4 in. canvas boards, mod podge and the stretch photos from Doom Buggies.

On his photo they are all stuck together so you will have to crop each one by themselves and then print. Then mod podge the canvas and place the photo on top. Make sure the canvases are properly aligned. Now you can either cut them apart or just leave them as is. I think I might leave mine as is, but who knows. :)